If there is one person that has been there through everything it’s my dog. He is more than I could ever ask for. He is there when I’m sad he’s there when I’m hungover and he’s there when I need a cuddle.
I’ve seen jester, now 12, grow up from just a small puppy and through out that time we have been a lot together. If anything jester is both a dog, he thinks he is a human and well he is. He’s a valued member of the family and to me he is like a brother. While he wouldn’t hurt a fly, if I was ever threatened I have no doubt that he would protect me even if it meant his life! (Not that I would let him!)
As he has got older we have slowly become inseparable. As soon as I come home he is at door waiting for me, and from then onwards he doesn’t leave my side. Even as I type this he is laid on my laminate flooring next to my bed. He is the one thing in the world that I truly am grateful for.
When I go to university, my main worry is that jester will think I have left him. He is my joy, my world and my life. He knows when I’m upset and through his dopey charm he always cheers me up. I will always be thankful for my dog and I hope he knows how much I love him.
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. – Oscar Wilde
For as long I can remember having children was something I’ve never really wanted. The snotty noses, sticky hands and the dreaded teenage years. But since turning 18 last year my opinion has suddenly changed. And I don’t know why.
The fears are still there about someone else’s life being in my hands because I have hardly been the most responsible person out there. I miss collage for varied and often stupid reason – going to ikea, wanting to bake a cake and my dog looking lonely to name a few. Which brings the question would be a good parent? Could I care for a life that depends on me? How would they turn out? Which ultimately the biggest and scariest question because ultimately it is we who influence and craft our children.
These fears grace my mind as I think about settling down, but my broody-ness and want for child prevails. The knowing that as I lie frail and dying in a bed surrounded by my children is something that is both comforting and surreal. Being gay I didn’t really think that having a family would be a possibility due to the discrimination that my child might face at school for having a gay dad. I never felt it would be fair to bring a child up in such a way. But with all the recent movement toward equality, my eyes have been opened. The world is a much more tolerant place than previously thought, the mass desire for the equality for gay marriage shows how advance we have become over the last couple of years and brings back faith in an offer cruel humanity. And with that my quest for a son and/or daughter continues…
Tonight I spent a good hour looking at car insurance, which is probably one of the most dreariest tasks that we humans of the modern world will ever have to preform. The amount of questions it asks is unholy – boarder control asks less questions about your personal life! One question for example was ‘When you have an appointment, do you arrive:’ with the options of early, on time or late. I’m sure the to the insurance company this has some sort of significance but to my bewildered mind, I was struck blank. Finally though after 7 pages of questions I made it to my insurance quotes. The cheapest was £3800…
The car it was for was only worth around £1500! But this all led me to on a depressive, downward spiral about money. I work three times a week at a particular fast food outlet, while going to college 5 days a week and trying to maintain some sort or social life and seeing my boyfriend, yet I could not afford a car. And you may be thinking that I splash all my cash up the wall on booze but I don’t go out, ever. Well apart from the one night on my 18th. But the point is, I hardly ever spend my wages and yet I couldn’t afford to drive yet half of my age group can? Even the ones without jobs!
Now I’m not complaining that they can drive and I can’t, it just highlighted to me the way our society works. We live, breathe and breed money and without it you’re no one. I’m not saying that I’m poor. I don’t have to fight for my food, I have electric, nice clothes, and a loving family, don’t get me wrong. My parents have always provided my with everything I’ve need and really I have been a little spoilt in some aspects (especially when so many can hardly afford to keep a roof over their head) but still they couldn’t afford to just give me nearly £4000 for my car insurance – nor would I ask them to.
This whole situation has opened my eyes. Even though I have a job I’m still at an unfair disadvantage to those who live off mum and dads purse, and nothing will change that. Hard work will get you no where and its all about how rich your family are to what opportunities you get in life. But on a positive note it has made me thankful for what I do have, and I am glad I have the family, friends and life that I do.